Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I'm just a toy

You know what sucks I'm in love with a boy. He knows it too. I told him everything my secrets how I felt about him I've never told anyone that I haven't even wrote it down in my journal. But I broke up with him. During this time he held hands with another girl and I cried I bawled. I was hurt, but I still wanted him and still do. Then for a while he wouldn't talk to me so I hung out with my friend Jame. My friend Jame kissed me. I freaked out. I felt like I cheated on Brandon but he didn't want me. So I was confused and kept being friends with Jame. But Brandon thought I was over him. When really I was not I was dying on the inside. But then we went to prom together I wanted to tell him how I felt. But I didn't. I told myself I would go over the next day Sunday, but it was mothers day. By the next day Monday he had a girlfriend. I didn't matter. I never did.

I kissed him and he has a girlfriend and he kissed me back. I feel so much pain. I just feel like a toy. I regret not telling him all those months I regret being alive. Because whats being alive if I can't be with him. I don't think. No I know I won't feel this way about someone ever again. You may say you'll move on sure your only a teen.  I know how I feel.  he's the only one I've ever wanted to give everything to and I was too afraid and screwed it up. Now he will never want me.

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