>.< Why is he in my mind?

What am I doing?
Why do I still have feelings for him?
We're like a double edge blade either way you hold it you will get hurt.

Why does it sting when he talks about other girls?
I should be done with this
done with him.
This is what I wanted
not to be held by chains
to run free
to have fun away from the complications of relationships.
Yet why do I feel like an endless wave of sadness washed over me
and the odor it left won't go away.

Sometimes I wish he'd look my way, but when he does
I remember the pain we brought to each other
and I look away
But sometimes I wish we could dull the knife
start off a new
but it was tried too many times
and resulted in wounds.